Feel the magic, Blog Faces!!!

Aww, New Year's Eve...Can't you just feel the magic in the air?!! The hope, the reflection, the dreams, the potential, the goals, the certainty that everything will be better. It is pretty stinking magical, people!!!!!! Soak it up!!! It feels like tomorrow I could be anything I wanted! A Prima Ballerina, America's Next Top Model, The Fonz! It's all possible right now!

I know some people are not big on New Years resolutions, but I am totally all for reflecting and bettering oneself at any time of the year. And hey, even if it just lasts one week, well at least you were a better person for one whole week!!! Besides, what better time to reflect, then during holidays when we are all focused on love, family and peace! (well we should be, and if you are not, I need to rearrange your tude!! as in attitude!)

The great thing is, this magic is possible all year round. We just have to harness it, take control, make some decisions, and take some actions. Don't forget home skillets, you can make it happen it you want to!

This year, my resolution is to be more like The Fonz. That dude is cool.

I am totally going to start using the washroom at work for my office and I am only going to wear white T-shirts and leather jackets from now on.





But if you see me, and my Fonz is more like this:

Well, don't make fun of me. I am just making it my own.

So go harness the magic, fools!!!! And make sure you don't start the new year by hugging a toilet. That feels like a bad omen.

Now that is just messed up...

So, many of you know my husband Droid, but some of you do not. Let me give you a little info about Droid.

He loves all things scary, gruesome, evil, horrible (no comments about why he loves me, people!!) He loves Horror movies, books, etc. Sometimes he makes me watch some of this stuff with him to show him how much I love him, but sometimes I put my foot down and say no way. I wish I'd put my foot down on Paranormal Activity. I haven't been able to sleep the same since. But I tell you what, there is NO WAY I am watching Paranormal Activity 2.  It involves a baby and a dog!! One, I rely heavily on our dog, Jo, to let me know if there is a problem. And two, I am not kidding, sometimes at night if I hear a strange noise coming from the kids room, I honest to god have a moment where I think "what if there is a horrible, evil poltergeist in there?!!"

Which leads me to my actual point on this blog post. To show you how messed up Droid and his obsession have made me.

I recently bought these pajamas for Owen. 

Cute right?!!

Well, my first thought when picking these out was, "he will look super cute in the blue and red stripes!"

But my second thought was, " and Daddy will like them because they will remind him of Freddy Krueger."

What?!!!!!!!!!

I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bit afraid when I put him to bed at night in these jammies.

Now that is just messed up...

This is what I do when I go into public washrooms (restrooms for you Americans)...

I hope you had as much fun as I did imagining myself there.

Okay, I learned my lesson..

Alright, so I learned my lesson. Apparently it is cool to blog about Miley Cyrus, but NOT COOL to blog about Tom Cruise. Tron blogged about Miley (read it here), and it was a big hit. My Tom Cruise blog... not so much. I guess Miley could probably pull off the jumping on Oprah's couch bit then.

The lesson here, is that if you are at all somewhat creepy to a large number of people, you probably shouldn't attempt to jump on people's couches in public. I'm not sure about random couches in department stores though, those might be okay.



*Disclaimer- this blog is not at all saying that the author feels that Tom Cruise is creepy. Just that some other people do. So if you are a follower of  L. Ron Hubbard, or if you are Tom Cruise himself please don't be mad at me. And I hope I am not hurting anyone's feelings.  Please know that even if you are sorta creepy to people and you jump on any couches, I will probably still cheer you on.

Tom is not happy about this.




                                        Miley thinks it's pretty funny.

I have a confession to make...

I want glasses. I have wanted glasses my whole life. Just ask my friends whose glasses I used to borrow to wear all day in hopes of ruining my eyes so I would need my very own pair. I don't know why I like glasses so much. They just look so stylish, and studious. They go hand in hand with books, and I love books. I have always had great vision, which stinks when you want glasses. I was so happy last year at my eye check up when the doc said I had a very small prescription (or whatever they call it) in one eye. Now I can feel the difference between my eyes. The doc said it wasn't quite enough to get glasses yet, but maybe soon. So keep your fingers crossed for me!

This is important...

There is something we all went through together that we really need to discuss. Yes, I am talking about the Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch incident.
A lot of people went crazy over how ridiculous it was for Tom to do that. And I say "What the What, people?!!"

All old Tommy boy was doing was being excited, happy, and in love! He was being impulsive and crazy, acting different and living life! I say good for you, Tom! Jump on that couch, cowboy!! Hey, no matter what, now you hold the record for being the only dude to jump on Oprah's couch!

I have more of a problem with the fact that people around the world acted so negatively about it. Really??? We are all going to be that negative over a dude jumping on a couch!! Even if you thought it was dumb, did there really need to be so much negative energy out there?? Why are we so quick to criticize each other for doing something a little different then the norm? We are too hard on each other. We shouldn't feel afraid to show our feelings because of how people will think/talk about us. We shouldn't have to doubt our every move because we are afraid of being judged.

I was disappointed when Tom sort of apologized for that. I wanted him to own it and be proud! I wanted him to say "Dudes, I jumped on a couch, get over it." I say, own your crazy people! Don't be afraid to be you and show how you feel! Especially when it is good, happy feelings! I am going to remain super proud after the day I am on Oprah and I sit on her lap.

Inside my head...

Just so you guys know, this is what I am like inside my head:

 Buffy the Vamipire Slayer




















Please don't ruin it for me by reminding me that I'm really more like this in reality:

Pat

Really???

Alright people. This is literally insulting. I mean, I love Tron and all, but COME ON!

See my popular posts column over there on the right??Why is it, that quickly rising up the list is the blog I copy and pasted from Tron's blog!!! Really???


Fine. Looks like I'm gonna have to be insightful and stuff.

Check it out!

I added a universal converter to the bottom of the page! You have no idea how helpful this is for someone who dabbles back and forth between USA speak and Canada speak! Now, if I say something like " Wow, Owen weighs like 13 kg!!", you can use my converter to see that means about 29 lbs! If only they had a spelling converter so my US friends would know that when I say colour, I mean color. Or when I say favourite, I mean favorite...

You may also want to notice the Mr. T quotes I added. They may help to get you out of a sticky situation one day!

P.S.

No one get all specific on me about my use of the word tundra, okay?!!! It's just a blog!!!!

This guy I know named Tyson....

So there is this guy I know named Tyson. I have known him since middle school. Once in high school we were in a play together where Tyson got to throw me down on the ground a lot. It was a pretty good bonding experience. Well, Tyson is now in LA, about to make it big as an actor any day, and I am living in the the frozen tundra land of Canada (okay, so not really any tundra in the part of Canada I live in, but still, compared to LA all of Canada is tundra). So it's pretty obvious which one of us had the most talent (I want to add that I can't wait till he makes it big because I have all kinds of stories to sell to the gossip mags about him. He recommended I go to TMZ first, but I'm thinking US weekly or In Touch, so I can cut the stories out for my scrapbook).

Anyways, Tyson is now married to this beautiful girl named Angela. Now, I have never actually met Angela, but I can tell through her facebook persona via Tyson's facebook page, she is one cool girl. She is funny but subtle, cool and collected. She just radiates natural awesomeness. Tyson has said on a few occasions that Angela is a facebook fan of me, going so far as to call her my "number one facebook fan". So I thought she liked all the rude comments I make on pretty much everything Tyson posts. So I was feeling pretty special that this cool girl liked me.

But later I had this revelation. OMG, what if "number one facebook fan" was said sarcastically?? Tyson is just as sarcastic as I am, after all. What if I am like an inside joke between the two of them?? What if Tyson says things like "Hey Angela, your favourite facebook person commented again!" and she then rolls her eyes and says something like "when is that jerk going to get a life?" And then Tyson laughs a lot??? I have after all said for Angela to friend me, or become a follower of my blog...and that hasn't happened.

So then I felt sad, and I wanted to cry and send Angela a message asking why she doesn't like me, and tell her I would try to be better.

After a few hours of self doubt, I had another revelation. I decided I was totally okay with that role. If me being a total moron gave two lovebirds an inside joke that ultimately gave them some good bonding times and strengthened their love, I am okay with that. So, I will just keep doing what I'm doing. I figure in the end Tyson will thank me, because then he will have some stories to sell to the gossip mags as well. About that stalker who was obsessed with him and his wife via the internet and couldn't stop commenting on every single aspect of their lives, and they were so scared they had to hire a giant lizard to guard their property.

Oh ya, I forgot....

I heard from Boogie's "PR" people today (Boogie herself), and she wanted me to clarify something. For the record, Boogie did NOT get out the hospital bed on purpose to decorate it. It was there, in her Christmas tree spot, because she is trying to get rid of it. She couldn't put up her tree, so she improvised. I repeat, Boogie DID NOT go looking for the hospital bed to create a holiday scene on.

Thank you.

Not Blogging it Up!

You know what, Blog Faces? I don't really feel like Blogging It Up tonight, so we are going to have a guest blogger. The thing is, she doesn't actually know she is being a guest blogger. I am literally cutting and pasting her latest blog right now! But, she is my BFF Tron, so I should be good for avoiding the slammer. However, if there is anyone out there that knows of some mega serious blog stealing law out there, please tell me pronto so I can delete this evidence.

Here you are, please enjoy her latest blog entry, "Shorts"  by my bff Tron.
(I'm adding the picture for fun.)

So I have always been a little weird about wearing shorts. I work out quite a bit......alright quite a bit is an understatement. I am a freak, I work out almost everyday (sometimes mulitple times a day). So it is not like my legs are hideous, but I have never been comfortable about the shape of my legs. I feel gross whining about it because it could be so much worse but it is what it is. We all have our weird issue with some part of our body. I know that shorts are kind of a weird topic to blog about in the middle of winter but my brother and his fantastic girlfriend bought me a pair of shorts for Christmas. They are not just shorts, they are from my favorite clothing work out line lulu lemon and they are fabulous. Naturally, I decided I should break out of my non short wearing box. I wore them to teach my class today. So why is it that the day I decide to take a risk even though my legs are albino white, slightly hairy, and oh yeah it is the middle of winter does the news channel come and video tape my class? Really? So if you see me on the news laugh a little (because you know the inside scoop). And then get over it, cause these legs of mine had the ultimate break out. It was obviously their time to shine. I will from this day forward be proud to show of my stems! 

Oh no, Boogs, that's not morbid at all....

Alright, so this post will help many of you understand me a little more. It is the first of many to come, about Boogie, my mom. I super lover Boogie. She is funny, always willing to help, a mega good Grandma, and an amazing mom/friend to me, always no matter what. I could go on about Boogie's good qualities, but right now I'm slightly creeped out by an email she just sent me, so I'm going to focus on that because it is going to make for a super funny/sick read for you!!

Let's start with a picture that was in the email:

Okay, looks like a normal scene to see this time of year right??

Now for some background information. My Dad, whom I also loved very dearly and had a very close relationship with, struggled through a horrible battle with ALS. He passed away 2 years ago this September :(

So fast forward back to the email I got from Boogie this morning and lets zoom out on the picture a little...

WTC???????????? (that stands for What The Crack, I am keeping this appropriate!) 

THAT. HOLIDAY. SCENE. IS. ON. MY DAD'S. HOSPITAL. BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is sick, Boogie. Sick!!

Now, there is a bonus to Boogie's sick idea. These Boogie ideas were the moments my Dad and I lived for. The look that would pass between us was priceless. I can feel my Dad laughing right now, after he saw my face when I opened that email. He would have loved this. These moments offered the 3 of us some major bonding time (okay, so Boogie might not feel the same about that, but I can assure you, these moments have endeared Boogie into our hearts forever. She is just so Boogie, and she is just so awesome!!). So Thanks, Boogie. Thanks for making me feel inside the same way I did so many times with Dad. I can almost feel him here with me :)

I love you, Boogie!!! ( you are still mega sick though)

 

Blog faces

So, on Droid's blog, he creatively refers to his blog readers as "wormies" (his blog is The Man Eating Bookworm), so I decided I am going to refer to you guys as "blog faces", okay? Just so you know...

Thanks blog faces, that's all for now!!

oh wait, one more thing. I've coined a new term.....when a blog is boring, you can call it blah, blah, bloring!!! (get it, blog + boring?!!).

Please don't call my blog bloring!!

Blogging is Cathartic!!!

Wow people, blogging is really good for the soul!

Last night I was putting clean sheets on the kid's beds, when it hit me! I figured out why I have that issue with the kitchen sink gunk!!!!!

Two reasons, both resulted from trauma as a child. First, I saw that movie The Incredible Shrinking Woman, with Lily Tomlin! I just remember this scene with her about to get washed down the sink and there was gross stuff!!

Ugh, looking at that makes me gag.

Second, the scene in Star Wars where they are trapped in that waist high gunk water!!!

Well, I tried to find a picture to put here but am not Star Wars nerd enough to know what to search for and all my dumb person words weren't working....but seriously, who doesn't know that part?! right?!! Or maybe I just know it because it traumatized me.....

Either way, I'm still leaving the gunk for Droid!

Answer my poll, peeps!

So I have a point to make to someone who shall remain unnamed (Tron). Is it a compliment or an insult to be compared to a chihuahua??? I think the answer is pretty obvious.....

Merry Christmas, fools!

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/feah0c6gDqmlxOcY?cmpid=ey_fb_friend

Tron and I got together and made a little ditty to wish you all happy holidays!!!

Peace!

You know what the best thing is about winter?

The fact that I can go pretty much anywhere in my pajamas. Seriously. My coat is fairly long so you can't see much. Okay, so my pants are very obviously pajama pants, but you can't see all of them, so who cares?! Not me, and that is really all that matters. I went all over shopping today in my pajamas. I was going to post a picture for you, but since my blog is still new, I want you to think I look like a cool officer all the time, so I'll wait a bit before I start posting horrible pictures.

You know what is the bad thing about winter? I always forget my gloves. My hands are trashed because I don't take very good care of them. Seriously, I could have been a hand model at one point, but not now because they are so trashed.

Imagine a vomiting sound here...

Ewww, you know what is super gross??! All that gunk you get in your kitchen sink. Random bits of soggy food! Disgusting!! It is one of my arch nemesis, along with the dumb bags of milk they have here in Canada. Droid, (my husband) gets so mad at me all the time because I will clean the house all nice (Ha! okay, I did before I had 3 kids), and leave all that gunk in the sink for him to deal with. Who wants to touch that?!! Well, Droid doesn't have a problem with it, but he likes things like the Saw movies, so I can only imagine what he is picturing in his head when he is touching the gunk.

Gross....Anyways, I just had to touch some of that gunk so I thought I should blog about it. If you feel the same about the gunk, represent and post a comment so I know I'm not alone in my fear of the gunk! Fellow gunk haters, represent!

What took me so long?!!

So my extremely supportive husband only had one comment to make about my blog. Well, two actually, but he deleted the first one so I can only imagine...He says I need more paragraphs in my blog. So this is for him, here you go, Droid!!!

Seriously!!!

Blogging is fun!!!

I can't tear myself away!! I really need to do some stuff but I can't stop blogging!!! The problem is all my blog entries are way more funny in my head when I am away from the computer, then when I sit down I stare blankly at the computer.

Which reminds me of a concern I have. You know how they say people start to look like their dogs, or spouses start to look alike...am I going to start looking like my computer?!! Because between facebook and my blog, we are spending a lot of time together. Will someone tell me if I start to look like a square head?

In trouble for the blog already...

Uh oh. I knew this blog would get me in trouble. I just thought it would be in the form of me saying something inappropriate. I imagine that trouble will come soon enough. However, for the time being I am in trouble with my BFF, Tron. Ok, so Tron isn't her real name, I've just recently forced her to start going by that name, but she's cool with that. One day Tron and I were talking it up about how we were gonna be cool and write some blogs together. I thought we were gonna have our own blogs- mine was either gonna be "Blog it up" or "What the blog?". Her's was gonna be something like Bloggity Blog Blog (don't steal that! She is totally going to use it and I don't need to be in double trouble!) Well....when I told Tron I started my blog, she said we were supposed to do it TOGETHER. Like both in one blog. I didn't have the heart to tell her that this URL even has my name in it. Although, I imagine she knows now, if she reads my blog like a good BFF. And personally I think it is better that she find out through here rather then when I was on the phone with her because she would have reprimanded me then. And that is scary stuff because in addition to spending lots of time on being my bff, she is also a ninja like lady. In fact, she is training for Survivor right now. So one day, she is going to blog with me. But probably not till after she wins Survivor. Hey, that will be good because then my blog will get lots of traffic.

Dear Friends....

Please be aware that if you choose to write "your face" all over people's facebook walls, your son will be reading over your shoulder, and will begin to say "your face" to you all the time. And there is nothing you can really say about it, is there. Because you thought it was hilarious when you did it. Also, if you act like a smart alec all over the place, that too will come back to haunt you in the form of little adorable faces. Murphey's Law works in mysterious ways....

HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!