Check out my new tune....

Old McLeonard had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!
And on this farm she had 3 Kids, E-I-E-I-O!
With a diaper here! And some laundry there!
Here a toy! There a toy! Everywhere a toy, toy!
Old McLeonard had a farm,  E-I-E-I-O!

Old McLeonard had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!
And on this farm, she had 2 dogs, E-I-E-I-O!
With a doo doo here, and a chew toy there!
Here a bone, there a bone, everywhere a damn bone!
Old McLeonard had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!

Old McLeonard had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!
And on this farm she had 2 cats, E-I-E-I-O!
With a hairball here, and some litter there!
Here a scratch, there a scratch, everywhere a scratch mark!
Old McLeonard had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!

Old McLeonard had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!
And on this farm she had a Droid, E-I-E-I-O!
"Do me a favour", here  "You know what you should do..", there,
Here a book, there a book, everywhere a new book!
Old McLeonard had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!

Congratulations! You have reached the Bonus Level!

I like talking about raising our children as if it's like playing a video game. I especially like talking about our third child, Owen, like he is the "bonus" level.  This reference is particularly suitable for two reasons. First, he literally is our bonus (read: surprise) baby, and two, everything with him is totally different then level 1 (Aidan), and level 2 (Dani). Maybe I should technically refer to him as "The Boss Level", as Aidan says, for that final, more difficult stage of each video game. This is not to say that Owen is a more difficult child. He is actually a very complicated mix of an extremely laid back, happy go-lucky, easily adaptable child, who just loves to laugh and make others laugh, yet, he insists on being extremely independent and stubborn. I am not sure how he manages to be all of these things at once. I think the trick is he sees level 1 and level 2 doing things, and thinks he should be doing them too, and isn't about to let Daddy and me get in the way of that. So, all my old tricks don't seem to work as well at this new level. I need to reassess my strategies, and add some skills to my repertoire.

Just like in video games, things happen at that boss level that didn't happen in the earlier levels. I guess all the things you encounter and handled with finesse along the way throughout the earlier levels co-mingle at the boss level to make some kind of a super challenge.  For example, lets take Owen exploring the use of the word stupid. Now, level 1 and level 2 didn't even know that word until they went to school. Okay, Droid probably said it at some point before that, but still, for a long time they thought it was a bad word and wouldn't dare say it. In fact if anyone else said that word, they would gasp in horror. (Just ask their Grandma who had to explain on more than one occasion that it wasn't a bad word if you weren't talking about a person).

Now, the boss level? Whole other story. Somehow, either through osmosis or just careful observation of the 9 and 6 year old previous levels that currently think stupid is hilarious to use, boss level also thinks this is a hilarious thing to say. The other day he was saying (all with the biggest grin ever on his damn adorable face), "Stupid Momma!" (and then level 1 and level 2 would burst into uncontrollable giggles, making Owen's smile even bigger, and reinforcing that he had just said the most clever thing ever). So Daddy stepped in and told him not to say that, it's not nice, and all the other things that would have stopped level 1 and level 2 from ever saying that again (or until they turned 9 and 6 at least). Owen's response? "Ok, Stupid Daddy!" (At which point I had to duck behind the counter to hide my uncontrollable giggle outburst.)

And today, I went upstairs to talk to Droid for 2 seconds. I come down, and the boss is standing on a chair, at the kitchen sink with the water flowing all over the place. But that's not all. He is putting the nasty kitchen sponge under the water, then drinking the water OUT OF the sponge. Seriously. Who thinks of that?? The boss level. That's who.

Baby proofing? Why did I bother?! The gates to block the stairs- Owen ripped those bad boys down in a matter of days. And when I bungie-corded them back together, he just climbed over them. The stupid things you put on doorknobs so that kids can't open the doors? Boss level honestly figured out how to work those before level 1 and level 2 could even open them!  I once put him in a nearby playpen so that I could take a quick shower.  Not two minutes later he climbed out and pulled the shower curtain open with the biggest, proudest smile I have ever seen. Now you know why I don't shower so frequently.

Dinner time? That is not meant for eating- Oh no. That is the prime time for the boss to get the biggest laughs out of level 1 and level 2. If the things he did weren't also so damn cute and funny to me, I would ban dinner forever.

Now if only, like video games, there were some cheat codes I could google. Or maybe a walk-through. That would come in seriously handy. BUT, then I would probably miss out on all those adorable, perfect, little crazy moments that make me even more crazy in love with the person Owen is, and thankful for our chance at the bonus level. Except when he drank water out of the sponge today. That moment just grossed me out.

Release the Boss!!

New Year, New You!

Aww, New Year's Eve....I love it, much like I love September and the beginning of school, for its opportunity of reflection, change, and optimism. So in honour of that spirit, I decided to write a blog and share some of my resolutions for the coming year!

1. Apparently last year I resolved to be more like The Fonz (read about it here). I am most certain I was not Fonz like at all this year, so my first resolution is to make better resolutions.

2.  To always remember where I park in parking lots. Seriously. I just came back from Home Depot, and when I walked out of the store, it was as if an alien mothership just randomly dropped me off somewhere. I had no recollection of parking there AT ALL. So that seems like a logical and helpful resolution.

Dude, where's my car??

3. Go on the Ballerina Diet. What is the Ballerina Diet, you ask? Well, the other day Dani and I went to see The Nutcracker. And obviously I was inspired by the incredible physical build and dedication of the ballerinas. So, I told Droid I was going to become a ballerina (pretty sure that is possible at the age of 34). He replied that I can't, because I am too "big".  More specifically, he said I have too much of a "buh-donk-a-donk". (Does he really think giving it a name that sounds like Donkey Kong is going to make me less likely to scratch his eyes out??) Now, my life mission is to prove Droid wrong whenever possible, so now I have to go on the ballerina diet and lose my "buh-donk-a-donk", because Droid said that is impossible, and he may be right because I have had it all my life no matter what my weight/size, but I can't let him be right so I have to lose it! (Yes that run on sentence was on purpose) And hence, the Ballerina Diet is born. But first I have to eat all of the crap I have in the house. Today.

Why hello there, future Brenda!

4. Last, but not least. To be more negative. To be more pessimistic. I have a real problem with saying yes to everything, and actually thinking it is possible for me to do everything, and be nice to everyone (Droid doesn't count) and it is getting me into trouble lately. Seriously, I don't even want to delete friends from Facebook that I don't talk to, or haven't seen in 20+ years because I don't want to hurt their feelings. And who am I to say they are unworthy of being my "friend". Ugh- not anymore! Plus, I have a problem with internalizing my stress and then I break out in hives. My new motto is "Hive Free for 2012!"

So, I think ending this post on that extremely grouchy and negative note shows I am well on my way! One last thing....

HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAY 2012 BE THE BOMB FOR ALL OF YOU! (but not a real bomb since the world is supposedly going to end this year. I am not using foreshadowing here, just slang)

Am I missing something?

A few weeks ago, I was doing some holiday shopping. I was in a higher end store because I was buying a very important gift. For myself. This was the kind of store where the person helping you wants to know your name so they can talk to you like you are BFFs for life. Then you will totally buy that gift because you don't want to hurt your Bff's feelings right?!! Plus it makes you feel important (not gonna lie, it kinda worked on me. A lot. I bought two things).

So, I told this very helpful, very friendly lady my name. Brenda. (Ps. She asked my name, I didn't just tell her so she could commence making me feel important). As she continued to show me more things that I would totally love, she continued to use my name. Debbie. 

Yep. Debbie. She must have called me Debbie 100 times. I just kept answering like I really was Debbie. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Big whoop, why didn't you just correct her? Why are you blogging about this? Are you that desperate for a blog idea since you haven't blogged since Halloween?" But the truth is, I am blogging about this moment because it is part of a big, strange phenomenon that I have been experiencing my whole life. People always call me Debbie! My whole life! In a variety of contexts and situations! It really is getting strange, and I am really starting to wonder about the frequency of this happening and why...here are some of the possible reasons I have been contemplating...

1. My mom's name is Debbie so maybe people are confused. (This one gets thrown out the window immediately because many people this happens with don't know my mom. Unless.....there is a fight club thing happening here and I really am my mom too?!!!)

2. I majorly look like a Debbie and my parents were the only ones that didn't realize that. 

3. I have a language disorder and whenever I say the word Brenda, it comes out Debbie. 

4. I have a language disorder and whenever other people say the word Brenda, I hear Debbie. 

5. I was Debbie in a past life and all the people that call me Debbie are psychics that get confused.  

That's all I got so far. 

To tell the truth, it got a little awkward at the end of my shopping experience. When I went to pay, my Bff told the cashier that my name was Debbie. Then I had to explain when my credit card clearly did not say Debbie on it. Then she called the credit card company to make sure my card hadn't been stolen. Then I didn't feel very important anymore. 

*Disclaimer* Although a large number of Kindergarten students call me Mr. Lemonade, I do not get confused or concerned that I may have gender identity issues or that I am yellow. Because that scenario seems to only occur within a certain population I deduct that issue may lie with the population.

*edited to say that maybe they are just calling me sour??*

Hall-O-Weenies and the coolest thing ever.

Don't worry, this is not a post about a hall full of weenies. And it's not about a hall. Or about weenies. But it IS about Halloween. And it is about the coolest thing that ever happened.

There are no words for my love of Halloween. The season of Fall, co-mingled with the candy, and the spooks, creates the perfect atmosphere. Growing up I used to have frequent dreams about Halloween. The romantic in me thinks that my love of Halloween, and my reoccurring Halloween dreams were a sign of things to come. A premonition of my soulmate, Droid, who was born on Halloween.  The realist and the sweet tooth (which is actually all of my teeth) inside me say, "Hi. Free candy. Need we say more?"

I can't get enough of Halloween movies, TV specials, soundtracks, or decorations. I just want to close my eyes and absorb all of the Halloweenie-ness in. A crisp Fall breeze, grey rolling clouds, coloured leaves blowing across the grass....LOVE. IT. Come to think of it, it sounds like I love Halloween so much, maybe it is the other way around and I married Droid, with a birthday on Halloween, so I could be closer to Halloween?!

Anyways, this background Halloween love festival information is important for you to understand why I thought what happened to me the other day was the coolest thing to ever happen.

The kids and I, with the help of some neighbour kids, decorated the front of the house for Halloween. Tombstones in the garden, floating ghosts on tree branches and plant hangers, random skulls and rats, hanging pumpkin lights, and a creepy old scarecrow guy sitting in the front.You know, the usual.

Fast forward a few days, and I am getting ready for work that morning, and Dani comes upstairs asking me about the Mummy in the front yard. I'm not sure what she is talking about, because we didn't put any mummies up. I know she knows what a mummy is, so I'm confused as to what she could be mixing up with a mummy. Believe me, with Droid as their Daddy, my kids know their monsters!

She just keeps referring to the mummy, and I am getting frustrated because I am like, "We did not put up a mummy!" So I say to Dani, "Show me."

She takes me downstairs, we open up the blinds, and sure enough. Standing there, on our front porch, is a MUMMY!!! Creeped me right out!

And then I notice other additions to our yard! a headless guy holding a lantern, an extra tombstone, a large skeleton! Holy Smack! Someone totally added to our decorations through the night!

I have asked everyone that is a possible suspect. I have no idea who it was. All I know is they are the coolest person ever. And now I want to do it to people. It is like the perfect version of pay it forward!

So if you wake up one crisp fall morning, to a yard full of Halloween spooks, you know I essentially just left you a love note!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!! 

Welcome to Mars....

You know what I like to do when I am so busy that I have already given up eating, sleeping and general hygiene? Get a new dog. A puppy to be exact. Clearly, I am blessed with phenomenal skills in the areas of decision making, prioritizing and the overall knowing of one's personal limits.

Truthfully, it's not my fault. Droid went to the Humane Society with the plan of "surprising" me for my birthday. Clearly he is just as blessed, in the area of picking gifts for his wife. Well, the humane society, being smarter then the both of us put together, doesn't let you do that. But Droid had already fallen in love, so he texted me this picture.

Come. On. I never really had a choice, did I? I mean, we are making eye contact through this photo. How could I look him in the eyes and say, "Hey. Good luck in that cage. But you might make life a little more complicated so I can't share all the love I already feel for you. Sorry about that. Hope that cold, hard floor isn't too rough on you." 

I couldn't. So, we have a new dog. That makes 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 kids and 1 Droid, who obviously needs more supervision then all of them put together. Granted, the universe was looking out for me a little bit, because puppy had a brother who looked exactly like him. And NO WAY could I have left one behind, all lonely and sad. So thankfully, when we got there, someone was already adopting his brother. 

We named him Mars because he has this funny spot of reddish fur on the top of his head, that reminded me of the red planet. Okay, I pretty much bribed/forced everyone to name him Mars. Well, technically I gave them the choice between Mo and Mars. I kinda liked Mo, so that when I called the dogs at the same time, I could just say "MoJo!" But Mars it is. 

Mars has adjusted nicely, and fits right in with our crazy home. Jo is slowly coming around to the idea of having a mini me. And as you can see below, the cats are pretty happy too. 

Poor Lenny hiding on top of the cupboards because he is so happy we have a new puppy.

Please enjoy these adorable pics of our new addition. Or not. I am actually just posting them for myself, so I can look at them every time I find some new present from Mars, like the freshly chewed shoes he left me today. 

Ps. I need to say, he is going to be a beast! He is only 3 months old and he is already huge!!!

Random List Monday #3!

1. So today I had my yearly eye exam.....and, drum roll please.....after the eye exam the optometrist said I need glasses for reading and when using the computer! If you know me, or if you've read my previous blog post, you know this is something I am quite happy about!! Seriously, my whole life, wanted glasses. Now I know, in a few months I am sure I will be posting about how I have learned my lesson about being careful what you wish for, but for now, I am basking in the excitement of waiting for my new glasses to arrive! I am resisting the urge to buy 10 different styles of glasses to go with my various moods/outfits.

2. Today I have been thinking that life is really like a book. Sometimes certain chapters of our lives close, and we have to move on to the next. Sometimes you don't want the chapter to end, sometimes you are relieved. Different chapters bring different emotions. Now matter how you feel about the chapter, or how you feel about moving on, the chapter is always there to add to the story. It is always there to reflect on, grow from, and is always a part of the building story. Apparently my book is about cheese. (Get it? I'm being pretty cheesy.....but it's still true!)

3. We can not get enough of the movie Tangled in our house! Love it! We were lucky to go to a screening of it just before it came out, then Boogie bought it for us on DVD. We have watched it too many times to count!

4. Today I saw something horrible, that I can't get out of my mind. I don't know if I will ever be able to eat again because every time I try, I get that image in my head. I won't go into the details, but I will say it involved a dead mouse in my garage. ugh. Good thing I didn't have my glasses then. I did not need to see that more clearly.

5. Um, I don't really have anything else to say, but I don't want to end on that. Oh! Okay, got something! So...finally this week we started playing Angry Birds. I am working hard to make sure it does not become as addicting for me as Plants Vs Zombies. But maybe I will go play some now to get that nasty image out of my head.