I like talking about raising our children as if it's like playing a video game. I especially like talking about our third child, Owen, like he is the "bonus" level. This reference is particularly suitable for two reasons. First, he literally is our bonus (read: surprise) baby, and two, everything with him is totally different then level 1 (Aidan), and level 2 (Dani). Maybe I should technically refer to him as "The Boss Level", as Aidan says, for that final, more difficult stage of each video game. This is not to say that Owen is a more difficult child. He is actually a very complicated mix of an extremely laid back, happy go-lucky, easily adaptable child, who just loves to laugh and make others laugh, yet, he insists on being extremely independent and stubborn. I am not sure how he manages to be all of these things at once. I think the trick is he sees level 1 and level 2 doing things, and thinks he should be doing them too, and isn't about to let Daddy and me get in the way of that. So, all my old tricks don't seem to work as well at this new level. I need to reassess my strategies, and add some skills to my repertoire.
Just like in video games, things happen at that boss level that didn't happen in the earlier levels. I guess all the things you encounter and handled with finesse along the way throughout the earlier levels co-mingle at the boss level to make some kind of a super challenge. For example, lets take Owen exploring the use of the word
stupid. Now, level 1 and level 2 didn't even know that word until they went to school. Okay, Droid probably said it at some point before that, but still, for a long time they thought it was a bad word and wouldn't dare say it. In fact if anyone else said that word, they would gasp in horror. (Just ask their Grandma who had to explain on more than one occasion that it wasn't a bad word if you weren't talking
about a person).
Now, the boss level? Whole other story. Somehow, either through osmosis or just careful observation of the 9 and 6 year old previous levels that currently think
stupid is hilarious to use, boss level also thinks this is a hilarious thing to say. The other day he was saying (all with the biggest grin ever on his damn adorable face), "Stupid Momma!" (and then level 1 and level 2 would burst into uncontrollable giggles, making Owen's smile even bigger, and reinforcing that he had just said the most clever thing ever). So Daddy stepped in and told him not to say that, it's not nice, and all the other things that would have stopped level 1 and level 2 from ever saying that again (or until they turned 9 and 6 at least). Owen's response? "Ok, Stupid Daddy!" (At which point I had to duck behind the counter to hide my uncontrollable giggle outburst.)
And today, I went upstairs to talk to Droid for 2 seconds. I come down, and the boss is standing on a chair, at the kitchen sink with the water flowing all over the place. But that's not all. He is putting the nasty kitchen sponge under the water, then drinking the water OUT OF the sponge. Seriously. Who thinks of that?? The boss level. That's who.
Baby proofing? Why did I bother?! The gates to block the stairs- Owen ripped those bad boys down in a matter of days. And when I bungie-corded them back together, he just climbed over them. The
stupid things you put on doorknobs so that kids can't open the doors? Boss level honestly figured out how to work those before level 1 and level 2 could even open them! I once put him in a nearby playpen so that I could take a quick shower. Not two minutes later he climbed out and pulled the shower curtain open with the biggest, proudest smile I have ever seen. Now you know why I don't shower so frequently.
Dinner time? That is not meant for eating- Oh no. That is the prime time for the boss to get the biggest laughs out of level 1 and level 2. If the things he did weren't also so damn cute and funny to me, I would ban dinner forever.
Now if only, like video games, there were some cheat codes I could google. Or maybe a walk-through. That would come in seriously handy. BUT, then I would probably miss out on all those adorable, perfect, little crazy moments that make me even more crazy in love with the person Owen is, and thankful for our chance at the bonus level. Except when he drank water out of the sponge today. That moment just grossed me out.
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| Release the Boss!! |
