2nd episode

Reality TV Star

Hey look! I got my own reality show! I was nervous about looking so pale on TV so I used some fake tanner. That's why I'm looking so orange.

Lemons are for Lemonade

The other day, I was having one of "those" days. You know the ones. To be honest, I'd been feeling like I was having a few of "those" days lately. Just feeling off, not quite myself, feeling a little overwhelmed with some of the every day stresses we all face. Blah!!! Later that night, Droid got an unexpected night off. He came home and we just sat and we talked. We had a wonderful evening with nothing but hanging and talking to each other. We talked all about the cruddy ways I was feeling. It was really nice and I didn't want to go to bed. I especially enjoyed the part where I made him look through magazines and pick haircuts with me ;-)

My point is, my lemonish day was made into lemonade. And things have been beautiful since. I think those lemon times in life are meant as a reminder for us to assess our choices, our lifestyles, our thoughts and patterns, everything. They are moments of great personal growth and learning. Great opportunities to take the pain, discomfort, disappointment, or whatever negative feelings you may be having, and use them as motivation to grow, improve, change and learn.

They are also amazing opportunities to bond and connect with people in our lives. Remember you can't make lemonade just out of lemons! You need to add the other ingredients! And talking with Droid was just the ingredient I needed I add. So often we try to hide away the bad ways we are feeling and pretend that everything is great. Maybe if we talked more often, asked for help and really connected, we could all make a little more lemonade.

I don't actually think this blog makes any sense, I just know that after that night I got the saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" stuck in my head. Which is basically what I'm trying to say. Or maybe I'm just trying to say I'm thirsty.

check it out!!

Booyah!! New design Y'all!! I may have spent last weekend out with Fran and Simon, but this weekend, I am spending it with my blog!! Heck to the ya!

Fran and Simon...

This past weekend, I did something pretty radical. I hung out with a dude who is pretty much famous.

Meet Simon.
He is a published author, and has even been published in the same works as Stephen King. Serious business, right?? I won't mention his work here because I doubt he wants to be fully associated with my blog. You can tell by the face he made when I said I was taking a picture for my blog. Pretty sure I caught him mid eye roll. Besides, all that really matters right now is that I know a dude who is pretty much famous.

Droid and Simon have been friends since high school. They share similar interests of reading, writing and watching certain types of films (notice how I made them sound smarter by using the word films instead of movies?) Back in the day when I first moved up to Canada, Droid, Simon and I used to hang out at coffee shops and discuss the latest episode of Buffy The Vampire slayer. Shoot. This post is supposed to make you realize how cool I am for knowing someone famous. I'm giving away too much info that is having the opposite effect. Back to the point...

You can tell Simon is famous by his trophy wife, Fran. Forget all of Simon's other accomplishments, landing Fran is the one that impresses me the most. This girl is trophy wife supreme. In addition to her hotness, she cooks, installs baseboards, paints, kinda plays the piano, wears cool glasses, is HILARIOUS (but not more funny then you Simon, don't worry), and full of compassion. I've only met Fran about 3 times now, but I could go on and on about this girl. Seriously. I love her.

You can see I made another friend at Fran and Simon's house. I never did get her name, but she was very nice to me. Probably a little too nice, to be honest.

Regardless, you can tell by this photo of Fran and Simon, caught on my hidden phone camera, that I still brought intriguing conversation to the table. They look completely delighted to have me for company.

Obviously, Droid was there too. You can see how the two ladies really get along. Seriously, they are crossing their legs more politely then a lady in a pencil skirt! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Fran, Simon....no one else may actually care about this post, but I do. Because you rocked my world this weekend. I had a blast, and the world needed to know it.

If you are curious about what I might be like as a teacher, the answer is simple. Watch Glee. No, I am not Coach Beast, although she is bad to the bone so I wouldn't mind that. Holly Holiday, baby. That about sums it up.

*disclaimer- minus the naughty bits. I don't do the naughty- illegal -get me in trouble- and fired stuff. And I can't sing worth beans. And I'm not tall. But otherwise, it's pretty much me in a nutshell. Especially the parts where she says, "Dude".

I was going to put a clip of Holly Holiday here, but all I could find was of her 1.) singing  and 2.) talking about naughty stuff. And since I already told you I can't sing, that would be false advertising of myself. And since I am an actual teacher, and teach mostly the little guys, I better avoid putting naughty stuff up, just in case.

So if you are super curious because you don't know what I am talking about, go watch the latest Glee episode online and you shall see. But don't watch it if you are young. I do not recommend it to children. Just want to be clear here.

back by popular demand!

Alright, it appears in the public opinion polls, me as a grown up is scarier than me, as me! So I'm back! Told ya it wouldn't last long...

Regardless, I wanted to share with you the one cool act I did in my short time as a grown up.

Driving home from a plaza near my house, I noticed a car parked off the right shoulder, in front of one of the plaza stores. Suddenly from the drivers side window, a coffee cup comes flying out and lands in the street.

Now, grown up or not, litter bugs are a pet peeve of mine. But grown up Brenda does something about it. I immediately stopped my car, jumped out, and ran up to the litter bug car. I scooped up the coffee cup, and said to the driver, who's window was still conveniently rolled down, "there are tons of garbage cans around," illustrated by pointing one out, "so there is no need to toss this out the window". I took the abused coffee cup back with me, to be thrown out respectfully at my house.

Not gonna lie, I was worried I might get shot up for my brazenness. But to make my point about littering was worth the risk. So today, I am clearly more John Wayne than Charlie Sheen. It doesn't really matter that the driver who tossed out the coffee cup was an older lady who probably didn't understand what I said. The car she was driving COULD have belonged to the mob. For the record, I didn't see it was an older lady before deciding to go on this quest. I mean, I'm not a bully.

My point is, don't litter. Because even though I'm not a grown up anymore, you never know when I might jump out and scold you for it, and then throw out your litter for you.

Idiot Rehab...

I've been thinking a lot about growing up lately. I think I might need to do a little bit of it. It's hard work, growing up, when you are a retired class clown. How do you grow up without losing that bit of you that really makes you who you are? Someone who enjoys acting like a ninny just to hear people laugh, someone who says things they don't actually believe at all, simply for the love of sarcasm. And would people even know how to relate to me any more, if I was all serious and calm? What if I'm no good to have around, if I'm not making up some jokes??? This blog would obviously have to come to an end! I mean, no one wants to hear me get all inspirational. People would probably just think I was depressed.

I guess like most things in life, it's about finding balance. I've been feeling like a Charlie Sheen lately. Minus the ladies, the money and the illegal substances. At least sarcasm is legal. But sometimes, I feel like the pathetic part of Charlie Sheen. You go along all funny and sarcastic, people laughing, it's a good time. But eventually it gets carried away. And you go all sarcastic at inappropriate times, start having trouble turning it off and focusing on important things like making meals for your family.

But, unlike Charlie Sheen, I also have a horrible guilty conscious. So then I spend way too much time feeling rotten about being sarcastic all over the place, and the need to over explain is ridiculous. Self doubt...ugh. It's like a hangover. So then the cycle starts all over, in order to chase away those bad feelings.

I think my ninny self has come out a lot stronger since my Dad passed away. Well, I mean not immediately, I wasn't making jokes at his Celebration of Life or anything. But I think once the time came that I was expected to be over my grief. No one ever says you have to be over it, you just start to realize you have to move forward. And like most addicts, you use the funny to cover up the sad. To not face that music. This is not at all a conscious effort, and I'm just throwing out some thoughts here. Or maybe like a true addict, I am just throwing out excuses. 

So my fake glasses were my first attempt at idiot rehab. Look smart, play the part? nope.

I don't know what's next. Hopefully I don't have to move to Timbuktu and start all fresh. I think this idiot rehab stuff is pretty new. But if I don't post as many smartypants comments on your facebook wall, or if I don't smack you in the arm when I see you, don't worry, I'm not depressed, I'm just trying to grow up a bit. And it will probably only last a moment anyways, before I am back to my dumbhole ways. It might just be the way I am, and I am going to have to embrace that and find the balance.

ps. no matter what, I am keeping the fake glasses. I am in love with them.